I am writing to inform you that your cock is being considered for immediate expulsion. Draco Malfoy has been brilliant in class, lackadaisical to teachers, parsimonious to housemates, and has been caught sneering in the Prefect’s Forbidden Forrest. For this, Draco Malfoy has received detention Pi times with Firenze and has been made to fetch peni in punishment.
Were these his only offenses we could look the other way. We here in Broadway 'Peeps' Crookenheimer House often do. Our code has always been: Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus. However, we are unable to excuse the fact that Draco Malfoy transfigured a todger.
This is a direct violation of Hogwart’s first rule: Student-teacher liasons are strictly forbidden in the hallways.
Please be advised that there is a hearing to determine Draco Malfoy’s future next tea time. You are welcome to attend, please bring any willy for his defense.
Head of House
Yay! Thanks to everyone who participated. The list of entries is below the cut.