apollinav

Perhaps I should start by mentioning that I live in Northwest Louisiana, and our seasons are:  Sweltering Hot, Unbearably Humid Hot, and Crawfish.  Then, I ought to tell you that the A/C died Friday, and I can't get a repairman until Monday.  Inveriably, it will cost me $200 for him to flick a switch, or $2,000 to replace the unit that's been singning it's swansong.  Either way, I'm unenthusiastic.  Which brings us to our little tale of woe: the Birdie.  He's pictured sitting on the finial of my sewing room curtains, above.

We have all the fans going and windows opened.  All but the window on the kitchen door has a screen, and that's just cracked a smidge.  And the curious little birdie couldn't help himself and let himself in.  The cats went wild.  My intrepid wanna-be hunter, Moshe, and 'the bitch' Catherine, (as seen in previous posts) colluded together to swipe tailfeathers of this poor wayward avian.

I gave the bird no chance.  And wildly waving and pointing towards open windows just scared it.  NOTE TO SELF:  Hollering, "Hey Birdie, this window is open!"  Doesn't do a damn bit of good.

So, when there was a terrible clatter in my sewing room with lots of excited kitty chattering, I figured he time was neigh.  Nope.  Not dead yet. 
He was flying into closed windows, it was sad to watch, but it gave me an idea.  One of the windows in the room was missing a screen.  I opened it, and with my coaxing, and Moshe's dramatic leaping, chattering, and tail swishing, Birdie flew to safety.  It took a few times, but it ended well.  Until Moshe jumped through the open window to kitty-cat freedom as well. 

Sigh.  He's an indoor cat for a reason.  He's a total pussy who gets his ass beaten by neighborhood brutes everytime he escapes.  I found him sniffing at the hydrenga buds. *shakes head.*

Does anyone remember Brian Fellow's Safari Planet sketches from Sat Night Live?  That's been in the back of my brain since this started.

This is Catherine.  Don't let the sweet face fool you.  She's a hellion.  A hellion, who's finally been broken of the pesky habit of dropping hot steamy biscuits in our living room!  Huzzah!   And she has a penchant for sneaking in drawers and confined spaces.  So earlier when hubby and I hadn't seen her all day, we didn't panic, because she hides.  But she wasn't sleeping on top of my sewing material.  And she wasn't antagonizing the boy, Moshe.  And she wasn't felting Timo's shoelaces.  And now... hours later?  We found her.  In the cupboard where the furnace is locked away.  How she got in there is a mystery, but we suspect she's been in there since this morning.  Other than being mighty dusty, she's no worse for wear, but has a hearty appetite.  Poor closet kitteh.

Moshe, our other cat, should have said something.  I rather think he was probably happy just to have the house to himself.  Moshe is the inspiration for every word I write on Crooks.  And though he hasn't quite figured out that he's neutered, and she's neutered - that doesn't stop him from giving it the old college try.  For which Catherine soundly beats his ass. 

Pity.

In what has got to be the weirdest form of WTFery Commedy Central played the Ali G Movie for prime time audiences.  It was cut to be made suitable for the time slot, but what got me was what they cut and what they didn't.   Having lots of 'RESKEPT' for Ali, I noticed what was missing.  After all, everything I learned about the UK I learned from Ali.  So when the pensioner tosses off the protesting and shackled Ali, they cut it.  Makes no sense to the plot line as now you have no idea why they chose him to run as a MP.  Apparently you can't cuss in Spanish either, oh English is ok, but they took out the dream sequence where he's confronting a Hispanic gang, but left the dog licking his dong in.  Left the shaven-haven quote about the Queen in too.  Took out the Thai Ambassador popping ping pong balls from her snatch.  Left the two stoned male African Ambassador's kissing in. 

That's some quality cinema.

I just don't get why some things stayed in and others did not, but as I quote from the movie, "We is experts."

I wonder what they'll have to do to make BORAT passable for TV.  I suspect the running time of the film will be 30 mins.


KEEP IT REAL, AV