Why I dislike MLC

[apollinav]

Yes, I'm aware that I'm being a hipocrite.  Thank you.  I've just finished posting Ch 61 of my MLC Fic.

MLC for some girls out there is real.  There's nothing glorious about forced marriage.  A lot of MLCs romanticise them - not to knock any particular author.  MLC is fiction.  This is real life.  Big difference.  I get it.

But this still bothers me.  

And I'm not going to listen to 'cultural sensitivity issues' bullcrap - I don't care that it's a cultural practice.   According to my values, it's morally wrong.

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE5815E920090902?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=69

Comments

[mischievous-t.livejournal.com]

Were you given a choice in the arrangements?

[teshara.livejournal.com]

according to Islamic Law every woman has the right to say no.
The unfortunate truth is that some girls are so pressured to say yes so their families can be rid of them (traditionally newlyweds live with the husband's family) because of financial constraints girls say yes because they're afraid of the wrath of their families if they say otherwise.
Several girls I know have broken off several arranged engagements (one girl has racked up 5!) because the man's family misrepresented itself.
There is a reason the wedding ceremony takes place in several different rooms. The groom has the right to say he's being pressured and back out and so does the bride, completely away from prying ears and their families.
Ideally, if this is the case, the imam is supposed to take the child (because you ARE a child until you are married, regardless of age) and place them in a safe place where they won't have to worry about family retribution while the family is punished (sometimes with prison time, public humiliation, or worse) and fined for going against Islamic Law.
Unfortunately, there are bad imams out there that take bribes, hate women (or men), or just don't care about the unions they sanctify. (Some even forage papers. One relative was married to a girl that never even existed to keep his family off his back.)
If parents don't match the children up correctly (and there is a list) just for an exchange of money or goods it's considered sexual slavery and can be 'annauled.'
My (former) cousin and his wife knew each other two weeks before getting married. She was terrified he was going to be cruel. He was terrified she wasn't going to be tolerable, but after a week they were thumping like bunnies and they're happily married in LA.
I deeply loved my husband, but he misrepresented himself for the sake of pleasing everyone and it was a shame. Our marriage was dissolved as if it had never happened, but his family still thinks we got a divorce. It was the best thing for everyone.
If you're 'home' the man has to say 'I divorce you' three times to be divorced. (And trust me, these words are not spoken lightly) The woman has to file paperwork because some women are prone to... erm... irrational outbursts because of emotional instability due to inbreeding. (It's not pretty, but it's true. In my husbands family, the followed the strict rule to only marry first cousins. For generations. They were, for the most part stable, but there were a few people in his family that I suspected needed to be heavily medicated.) Many women that file for divorce are remarried to the same man later because of this or call off the divorce in the middle of the proceedings.
There are women that are in horrible circumstances and they should be allowed to divorce (or hit with a hammer) the horrible men they were sold off to like sheep, they're in... oh crap, I can't think of the right word... hillbilly areas.
Those are the areas over there that need the most help because their systems are completely corrupt and the people charged to protect the sanctity of the community have failed for their own gain. >:(
Those guys make me so mad! They give all arranged marriages a bad name! (And the parents should be thrown in jail as well!)

[mischievous-t.livejournal.com]

What you've described is the difference between an arranged marriage and a forced one. Choice.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

[pyjamapants.livejournal.com]

This is fascinating, Tesh. Thanks for writing all this.

[slytherinlaurel.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing this side of it. I've known a couple Hindu couples with (successful) arranged marriages, but have never known anything about Islamic practices.